Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
