I CAN MOONWALK!
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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