Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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