bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize