How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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