I seem to have left my pride at pride
You smell like stripper and shame
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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