He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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