Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
