Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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