we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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