Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
smell my finger.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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