dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
