I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Randomize
