I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize