to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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