It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize