I'm drive I can fine osifer
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
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