why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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