PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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