which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
