so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
