Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize