I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
This toilet bowl is my home.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
