Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
