Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
i love accidental penises.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
