my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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