Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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