Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
