her vagine was all disorganized.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
