You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
