Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I'm bleeding and have questions
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
