Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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