I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
