We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
