She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
