Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
where are my eyebrows?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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