he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize