Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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