If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
