Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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