sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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