someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
