You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He felt like a one man threesome
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize