Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
