She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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