I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
