I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
