i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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