she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize