It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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