I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
