cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
