WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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