I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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